Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Life's tendency to be an apparatus for highs and lows

Ever been to a county fair or a theme park? If you'd had the pleasure I'm sure you've ran into one of these:



(photo by friendly joe)

When I was 12, I went to the Miami-Dade County Fair and Expo. Good things. I was convinced by a friend to join him in something similar to the previously shown ride. Bad Idea.

There is just something horrific and totally masochistic in voluntarily strapping yourself down a seat, being lifted (to what it feels like) hundreds of feet from the ground and spun at an increasing rate upside down and all around. I learned my lesson.

That was the last time I got into one of those contraptions, yet sometimes it feels like I'm being voluntarily lifted and spun in all different types of directions. I feel the highs and the lows. The fast and the slow (I didn't mean for that to rhyme, but hey, I accept it). My least favorite part is when you have finally made it to the front of the line, and you look up at the ride in its glorious monstrosity and all the sudden you think "holy crap. What the hell am I thinking?" The 20 year-old kid that just learned how to work the ride motions you over to take a seat. And its that cliched moment of truth.

Do you go and sit? Do you take the chance to finally experience what you have been waiting for?The highs and the lows?

Or do you tell the person behind you to "go ahead" as you climb over the barricades both relieved that you get to stay on the safe ground and upset because you see your friends, scared and excited, experiencing something you also wanted to do but were too scared and intimidated to follow through with?

Right now I have made it past the front of the line and just strapped myself down to a seat. Voluntarily, like a good masochist. I can start to feel the ride slowly moving on its rotating axis and the nervous feeling in my stomach is accompanied by thoughts of "what the hell did I get myself into?" In this moment, this very second, it seems like the ride will last forever. I know it will stop soon and all will be okay, and when it does I will be proud that I actually went through with it.

For now though, I am cringing my teeth, grasping the handles, closing my eyes and thinking "what the hell did I get myself into?" All I have to do is hang in there. Literally and figuratively.

2 comments:

  1. as a sequel to kristel's comment,
    try not to puke when the ride's over.
    jk =)

    ReplyDelete