Monday, July 21, 2008

FIU and Disney ruined my education.

I have the pleasure of working in the school I study in. Florida International University. yay.

At the office I work in there is a flat screen TV in the waiting room where we play movies in order to ease the poor student's wait times. Due to FIU being a respected academic institution no PG-13 or R movies are allowed. Apparently sex, drugs and foul language are out of place in a college setting. As you can imagine, this limits our movie choices quite a bit.

It has fallen on me now to supply a steady flow of films for the office. Unfortunately, most of the movies I own are not up to par with FIU's film standards. (Though I happen to consider Borat and Knocked Up to be of great educational value. Admit it, you didn't even know where Kazakhstan or a cervix was until these movies showed you).

Due to these restrictions, we've been forced to walk into a land of fairies, talking animals, witches and singing. A lot of singing. Though this may sound like a pothead's worst nightmare (pineapple express, anyone?), feel free to sigh in relief. I am speaking about Disney movies.

I hadn't realized what terrible morals Disney movies teach. Take Aladdin for example. What is it teaching? Stealing is fine when you have a cute monkey sidekick? Running away from home and living with a homeless guy is A-okay? And lets not forget about the lesson it teaches boys. Lying to impress a girl is okay, because even if she finds out that you're not really a prince and you don't really have a magic carpet, she will get mad at you for 7 seconds but then get over it and kiss you.

Or how about The Lion King? Hakuna Matata? more like "hey kids, lets eat bugs (junk food), lay around in the Savannah (couch)all day and burp". And "hey, while we're at it, why not go take some revenge on a family member? Maybe feed them to the hyenas. "

I think FIU has it all wrong. Instead of allowing us to learn about Geography and Anatomy, we're learning about stealing and lying and vengeance. No wonder the young folks are so messed up nowdays.

Anyway, I'm just bitter because I've had to hear "A Whole New World" six times today. Really, who harmonizes that well in real life without any prior rehearsal, especially when flying around town ? lies, I tell you... lies!


  1. you...are...amazing. you just rationalized viewing borat due to its educational value... on the basis of geography. there is a reason why i didn't know where kazakhstan was before the movie. and it is because kazakhstan did not exist before the movie.

  2. well stated... can you guys play documentaries, or educational films, something other than disney?

  3. your sarcasm is funny.. love it!